I do, or at least I used to. I used to feel like I was faking it and by that I mean I was pretending I knew what I was doing when I really had no clue and was making it up as I went along.
Whether I liked it or not, I didn’t feel very confident in whatever I was doing and yet thought that everyone else did. This used to upset me. I used to get so frustrated that everyone else seemed to know what they were doing, why they were doing it and what the outcome would be and I kept waiting for this feeling to happen to me. When I was a teenager I thought perhaps when I’m in university I get this feeling, or then it was when I graduate and get a job, or when I get married I’ll know. Of course, this never happened. Actually the older I got the more I felt like there was still so much for me to learn.
This caused me to feel inadequate in so many ways, for so many years. I thought I couldn’t be a great mom, wife, or employee because I didn’t really know what I was doing. I wasn’t a good enough friend or citizen in general, as I was an adult now but I didn’t have all the answers. I kept thinking that other people had taken a class or read the manual on how to make decisions and how to decide what was right and wrong and how to make sure they always made the right choice. That was of course because I thought there was, in fact, one correct answer for every question. A next ‘right’ move, the next ‘right’ thing to do or say. But for me, I had a million options swirling around my head at any given moment. And depending on how I looked at the situation I could come up with several reasonable options, all of which had their pros and cons. Rarely would one option stand out as being the ‘correct’ one.
For people that don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s ok, I’d love to chat about that someday. But I think there are many others who do. So to them, I am saying what I wish I knew many years ago. Life is not about getting it right. Actually, there are NO right or wrong answers in most of the big decisions we make in life. They’re all just choices, like a million options on the menu and we get to decide what we feel like ordering in that moment. Some of us may choose confidently and be happy with our decision, while others will take more time, and others decide to try a few things. No one is right or wrong. We all have different tastes, different appetites, different needs. All of it is AOK! The only mistake is letting someone else choose for you! This is your life, you get to decide what is right or wrong for YOU! I know this sounds so simple, but usually, the simplest things are the most challenging to do.
I wish I knew this years ago. It would have saved me from wasting so much of my energy on looking outward for answers. If I knew I was the only one who could decide if a decision was right or wrong FOR ME, I wouldn’t have focused so much of my energy on what everyone around me was doing. Or waiting for some divine intervention to tell me exactly what to do next.
So if you are feeling like you are faking it, or that you are waiting till you are good enough, or experienced enough or intelligent enough, to make some big decisions, don’t wait. That feeling will likely never come and you will just be wasting time. Besides, if you are not happy with your choice, just make another one and try something else.