Am I Not Enough?

I am the only one who feels like they aren’t quite enough?  Somedays I feel like I’m not brave enough, or hardworking enough, or tough enough, or gentle enough, or smart enough or generous enough, or disciplined enough… I could go on and on!

Although everywhere we look,  our culture appears to promote prioritizing self-care, self-love, self-worth… and yet at the same time, we are bombarded with messages to inspire us to try harder, dream bigger and get more done in less time.  How can I prioritize self-love while at the same time feeling that I should be trying to improve myself and my life in so many different areas? It is really enough to make me feel crazy.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t I just ‘be’ and be ok with that?

For example,  I am so proud of the fact that I started my blog after years of thinking about it, that I post regularly, and best of all, that people are reading it (thank you, readers!). I have reached the goal that I set. Why can’t that be good enough?  Why do I now feel pressure to ‘expand my audience’ and ‘spread my message’?  I can’t even tell if it’s my internal voice wanting to do more, or have I been conditioned to always strive for more?

My facebook feed is full of inspiring messages about ‘just be you’ and ‘never giving up’ and ‘dream big’.  And I am totally guilty of sharing these posts as they remind me that things will get better when I’m stuck in a rut.  But what if we have a small dream that is just the right size for us? What if we attain that dream and want to enjoy it just the way it is? Why can’t that be enough?

I love learning and so I attend a lot of workshops, whether is about art,  small business or personal growth. I enjoy learning and try new things. But lately, I am wondering if they have caused some unwanted side effects. Are they making me feel like I need to do more? Or I am not doing enough of the right things?  Maybe I am not clear enough?

So on this Sunday evening, I am practicing feeling that I am enough, just the way I am at this very moment (with a little Netflix and my knitting).

I’d love to know if others can relate to feeling enough, or rather not enough? Have you moved beyond it and have ideas to share? IMG_2339

 

5 thoughts on “Am I Not Enough?

  1. I believe if we are comfortable with where we’re at, then that’s enough – it’s always enough. I also think it’s human nature (or maybe just my nature) to want to take the next step, to get better, to learn new things. The trick, I think, is to do all of this for our own reasons not because we’re trying to reach someone else’s standards.

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  2. I was just thinking about something similar yesterday, although more in terms of career ambitions. I too love learning to a point where I don’t ever want to feel like I have ‘learned everything’ or that there is no point learning anything more because I’ll have reached a point where I know everything that I think I need to know. But apply this to a career ambition and that constant drive to be ‘the best’ at something starts to get a bit silly. Whose ‘best’ is it? Yours or someone else’s? What if just being happy with a particular level of job was the ‘best’? Does anything less than becoming the CEO of the company constitute failure? I think that for a long time, that was how I had been thinking and it was not constructive. There is no way to have a complete collection of wine or to have listened to every piece of music ever written, so perhaps striving towards that goal is a bit pointless and will never make one happier because of that achievement. Maybe enjoying the music that you do get to hear and enjoying the wine that is on the table is the point?

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  3. I definitely felt this way when working for the government. I think everyone felt they should be trying to get promoted, reach the next level, or simply be recognized for everything they did. Just witnessing that was exhausting, but I also felt it caused the breakdown of true teamwork as everyone wanted to be noticed for their contributions instead of focusing on the whole.
    So my goal is definitely to enjoy the wine you have the music you love (regardless of whether or not it’s award-winning).

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