My Mind is not Always on my Side

After years of counseling, self-help books and workshops, and inspiring mantras, my mind is still not always on my side.

A few weeks ago I decided that it was time to get a few of my rings resized as they have not fit properly for years. I also had some other jewelry I’d inherited that needed cleaning. So I gathered everything together in a small cloth bag and headed off to the jewelers.  I sat at a little desk across from a woman with beautiful makeup, perfectly manicured nails, elegant clothes, and high heels. I sat there in my leggings, t-shirt, and birks, so I was a little out of my comfort zone, to say the least.  After putting everything out on a little tray, she took several pieces to the back to be cleaned and then made notes on what needed to be done to which ring. I left with my little bag of cleaned jewels and a receipt for the rings to be altered. As I sat in the car I checked the note. My engagement ring was not on the list, nor was it in the bag. Actually, I couldn’t remember if I even brought it with me. I assumed I must have left it at home. So as soon as I got home I scoured my jewelry box, checked under the dresser, the bed and everywhere I could think of. I started to fret that I would never find it again. Could it have fallen from the bag?  Or dropped on the floor at the store? Or maybe it has been gone for weeks and I didn’t notice till now.  I had no recollection of when I saw it last. Perhaps it was that morning, or perhaps it was weeks ago, I had no clue. How could I let this happen?

After a few hours of searching, I got the nerve to call the jewelers and ask if it could have dropped on the floor, or misplaced somewhere in the back if it went with the other pieces to be cleaned.  They searched and confirmed it was not there.

I felt terrible, sick to my stomach for losing such a sentimental item, and since we’ve been married for almost 20 years, it’s almost an antique!

Ten days go by and I get a call from the jewelers that my rings are ready to be picked up. They looked great and I was happy to be able to wear them again, but I was also reminded of the one I had lost and a wave of self-loathing came over me. The clerk working was not the same one I had met on my previous visit and for some reason, I blurted out that I had recently lost my engagement ring and was feeling terrible about it.  Her face lit up and she asked me what it looked like. Then she disappears to the back and returns with my ring. I had not lost it. It was not my fault!

The clerk explained that they had found my ring stuck in the corner of the counter near the cleaner. But I couldn’t even hear the rest of her explanation as I was so elated to have my ring back and to know I wasn’t my fault.  I had, in fact, brought it that day and they had misplaced it.

Once again, I am reminded that things happen for all kinds of reasons, and usually, they have nothing to do with me doing something wrong.

close up of wedding rings on floor

Photo by Megapixelstock on Pexels.com

4 thoughts on “My Mind is not Always on my Side

  1. Soo true! I´m guilty of thinking everything´s my fault, too. I have become better, but still a long way to go! I guess in the constant stress of wanting to do everything right and that everything goes as planned, we develop a terrible fear of something going wrong, and if it does, we instantly think it must be our own fault. I´m glad you found your ring back!

    Like

    • I think it has to do with how some of us interpret ‘taking responsibility’ for our lives (or rather misinterpret!). Thanks for sharing 🙂

      Like

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